![]() ![]() It may be true that these feelings and attitudes toward Asian-Americans were always there, hidden underneath the surface, but fear has brought them to a head in these perilous times. Fear that a stranger will infect us, that others will take all the supplies we need to survive, and that looking out for someone else will cause us to suffer. It becomes one more pebble in a shoe full of rocks, another sign and symptom contributing to a plaguing imposter syndrome.Īpart from the threat of illness and death, fear is perhaps the most virulent part of COVID-19. But, when patients refuse to be seen by anyone “Asian-looking” and when care and concern is met with bigotry and hate, it is an understatement to say that it hurts. Every moment in the hospital, we put ourselves and the people we love at greater risk of contracting the virus, because this profession is more than work, it is a calling. As physicians and resident physicians, we took an oath to help the sick and suffering, even those who are distrustful or prejudiced against us. These sentiments and experiences have not been lost on the Asian doctor. While these accounts have ranged from derogatory comments (“Get your coronavirus out of my country!”) to battery and assault, less talked about are the subtle moments - the stare of a stranger on the street, the fear of coughing or sneezing in an elevator, and the unshakable, unrelenting feeling that you’re different, that you don’t belong. Over the last few months, there have been countless stories of racism and xenophobia towards individuals of Asian descent. Unfortunately, for Asians, this social sterility has left in its wake a sense of isolation and blame. It is undeniable that the social distancing movement is critical in quelling the exponential spread of this virus. Sterile technique has leaked into the public domain, marked not only by how expensive Purell has become or how frequently we are reminded to wash our hands, but also by the ways we have come to treat one another. However, with the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic, we now find ourselves unable to scrub out at the end of the case. ![]() We don gown and gloves and communicate behind mask and shield, all to keep ourselves and our patients safe. We’ve made a home of the aseptic operating room, where “don’t touch your face” is a lesson learned on day one. ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of CholeraĪs surgeons, we pride ourselves on our sterility. “It was a meditation on life, love, old age, death: ideas that had often fluttered around her head like nocturnal birds but dissolved into a trickle of feathers when she tried to catch hold of them." ![]()
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